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Christmas jokes



What beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake?
Tarzipan !


Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?
No you can have turkey like everyone else !


What did the eskimos sing when they got there Christmas dinner ?
"Whalemeat again, don't know where, don't know when " !


What did the big cracker say to the little cracker ?
My pop is bigger than yours !


Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
The turkey - he's always stuffed !


What bird has wings but cannot fly ?
Roast turkey !


Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ?
Your teeth !


We had grandma for Christmas dinner ?
Really, we had turkey !


Whats happens if you eat the Christmas decorations ?
You get tinsel-itus !


What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ?
Grave-y !



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